the last ...before the first

amazing isn't how you never really can tell when suddenly things will change and you will have a "last" of something?! the last time you eat an ice cream when you are suddenly diagnosed with diabetes, the last time you will score a goal in hockey because you blow your knee, the last time you will fail a test, because you are finally prepared....sometimes you know and fully appreciate the last moment...but other times...it just passes you by. like right now for me there are a lot of "lasts" you see there is this impending arrival of a new person into our fam, and that makes for the inevitable "last" time as 2, soon to be 3. i started thinking about all the "lasts" in hopes not to regret and pine for them, but to fully appreciate the sanctity of each moment, so as to cherish it and anticipate the many "firsts" to come. par example...this was our last christmas as 2, i didnt even know i had had my last glass of wine as an irresponsible young adult until it was too late to reflect on the moment as the second line appeared on the preggo test, and i am eagerly counting down the days to my last sunny vacation as a non-parent only a month from now.

i started thinking about all this when i was surprised to hear that yesterday heath ledger died. i know i know...he's a celeb, i dont know him and granted...he o.d.'d....but still it was a shock to me. i think he was a really good actor, there are a number of films i really enjoyed that he was in (fav was a knights tale i think), but what was wild to me was that he was the same age as me and although he was far more career accomplished, he really didn't know that monday, january 22 was his last of everything. wild isn't it?!

please don't think i'm comparing my approaching parenthood with the same doom and gloom as that of an untimely death...quite the opposite in fact, its more that i'm just going to make a point of appreciating all my "lasts" in anticipation of the "firsts"...if you get what im saying.

here's to 3 more months of just me, lyn and bernice and many months more including one more.

ps i cant wait for my "first" stella as a mummie ;) mmm...